This past week, I was approached by a member of a partner organization. She had been hurt by something I emailed last week. Rather than sit on it, she chose to simply approach me and ask, “Is this what you meant?” The funny thing was – I explained what I had originally meant (which had her best interest at heart) and she *instantly* looked relieved. “My shoulders already feel lighter,” she reported. The thought occurred to me, “What if she had held this in?” It would have festered and, most likely, become a root of bitterness in her life.
Have you recently experienced hurt as a result of something someone said or did to you? Do you feel a distance between you and another person on your team? Not quite as close to that co-worker as you used to be? Here’s this week’s BackPage advice: Go to them. Talk to them about how you feel. Talk to them in terms of how you felt (rather than making a judgment about what they meant). Ask them what they meant. Maybe, just maybe, you misunderstood. If so, you’ll resolve a conflict and perhaps save some bitterness. If they meant it, at least you’ll help them see how much you were hurt by it. Maybe they’ll think twice before they hurt someone else.
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