Celebrating a Victory in Jesus: Sally Lucas

At 8:52pm on Sunday evening, October 20, 2013, “Sally” Lucas escaped her earthly body, now riddled with cancer, to a Heavenly One. She never suffered, as some do. Thanks to input from several experienced friends and professionals, her passing was, in fact, a relatively “easy” Victory in Jesus at home, with family.

Throughout her end-of-life, my mother remained extremely courageous. In fact, in the face of multiple inputs and opinions, she did a remarkable job sorting out her attitude and approach. At one point, I wrote an article to give her background on that. I’ll append it at the bottom of this page.

Some have asked how they might join in celebrating a life well-lived. Many believe that Sally would have treasured a gift that might make a difference in someone’s life… Something that would last. Therefore, the family has suggested that, if desired, memorial contributions might best be made directly to 1) Premier Hospice or 2) Team Expansion “Sally Lucas Memorial Fund,” or 3) Troop 106, BSA. See the addresses below. If you’d prefer to give online, you may click “Donate” in the top-line menu on this page and use PayPal or your credit card of choice. Please send an accompanying email to DLucas@TeamExpansion.org indicating which of the three causes you’d like to recognize and confirm, please, the amount you donated. You’ll receive an acknowledgement via email within 24 hours and an additional thank-you directly from the cause you support. Please note that Brigada has volunteered to serve these causes for free, as a courtesy, but the credit card company does collect a small (3%) convenience fee for this service.

Sally’s causes:

Premier Hospice
319 N. Ewing St.
Seymour, IN 47274

Learn more at:
www.premierhospiceaz.com

Team Expansion “Sally Lucas Victory in Jesus Memorial Fund”
4112 Old Routt Road
Louisville, KY 40299

Learn more at:
www.teamexpansion.org

Troop 106, Boy Scouts of America
c/o Central Chr. Ch.
1541 S. 7th St.
Ironton, OH 45638

Learn more at their Facebook page

 

In the Face of Tough Diagnoses, How Should we Pray?

[Here’s the article I wrote to give my mother background for thinking through her posture about some of the comments she was receiving. After reading it, it seemed to help her sort through all those conflicting realities and possibilities, once on receives a tough diagnosis. We maintain it here for the sake of others who might be facing similarly tough diagnoses.]

By Doug Lucas, 4 days after his mother was diagnosed with advanced (stage IV) cancer

The technical diagnosis is Adenocarcinoma, or Glandular Cancer. That sounds so scientific and far-removed. For some reason, when the term is being used about one’s mother, it has a deeper impact. In my mother’s case, it’s probably one of the most sobering diagnoses ever. My mom’s cancer probably originated in the gall bladder, making it one of the toughest to catch. As a result, her cancer, discovered only a few days ago, has already spread widely throughout multiple systems of her body (so it’s already “stage IV”), from her gall bladder to muscles used for breathing to the kidneys and liver. The truth is, there are few tissues in her belly that are NOT being poisoned by this enemy. But the one that seems to be lined up to cause her the most difficulty is the cancerous tissue that has already impacted her intestines. Because these cancer cells are “sticky,” so to speak, they cause bowel obstructions — and bowel obstructions for an 86-year-old woman are particularly hard to mend. As I write this article, we’re still gathering medical advice, but the truth is, nearly any proposed surgery for a woman the age of my mother is either too invasive or too unlikely to bring full healing. As a result, barring an outright miracle from God — i.e., the complete reversal of all this cancerous tissue — there’s simply no medical way that my mother’s life can continue.

So the question arises — how does one pray? As I’ve listened to friends interact with my mom, I’ve heard basically 3 different attitudes. The first attitude basically follows the line of reasoning, “God can do anything he pleases. Maybe he’ll completely reverse this. Have faith — and pray hard.” There’s nothing wrong with taking this approach, in my opinion. Jesus did, after all, raise a dead person back to life! In Matthew 5: 35, some realists pull Jairus aside, just when he had succeeded in getting Jesus’ interest in healing Jairus’ daughter. Those realists suggest to Jairus that his quest for Jesus’ involvement is no longer needed because, after all, his daughter was now totally hopeless. In fact, she was DEAD. But Jesus responded in vs. 36, “Don’t be afraid. Just believe.” Thus, we know that it would be totally within the realm of possibility for God to completely REVERSE Mom’s diagnosis. The one problem with this approach is — we just don’t know God’s plan in every case. Even in the days when Jesus walked on the earth in bodily form, he obviously didn’t raise EVERY dead girl to life. Instead, he chose to allow many to stay dead. So hundreds, maybe thousands of young daughters just like Jairus’, WEREN’T healed. So it’s also biblical and, apparently, Godly for the Lord to allow natural processes to continue. In fact, it was the EXCEPTION rather than the rule for Jesus to intervene. He only seemed to intervene when there was some special cause or purpose. So although it’s not particularly WRONG to pray for this kind of outright miracle, if God chooses not to grant it, we shouldn’t be disillusioned in our faith. Because, like we just ponted out, it’s a biblical fact that God doesn’t choose to reverse every impending death.

The second prayer goes slightly differently. It says, “God, if it be your will to reverse Sally’s cancer, please make it so. But either way, please make it easy for her. Please don’t let her suffer.” The problem with this prayer is that we have biblical examples of people who DID suffer, even though they prayed otherwise. Paul, for example, had some kind of ailment that he referred to as his “thorn in the flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7). Paul asked repeatedly that this thorn be removed. It was obviously bothering him. But in spite of his prayer, God chose NOT to remove it. Why?  Paul  figured it was to “keep him from exalting himself.” It led him to boast in weakness, “so that the power of Christ” would dwell in him. In his weakness, through God’s strength, he became strong (2 Corinthians 12:10). So, as in the first prayer, there’s nothing wrong with praying that my mother’s cancer wouldn’t cause her to suffer. But if it does, as in the first prayer mentioned above, we shouldn’t assume that God is no longer present. In fact, if God chose not to answer this prayer, he’d be treating my mother exactly like he treated Paul.

The third type of praying would suggest we pray that God would give my mother the courage to tackle anything that life throws at her. After all, remember all those people raised from the dead in dramatic Bible stories… They all died again (save one, and He is God). God has created a natural order that catches up with all of us eventually, unless Jesus comes during our life.  The Psalmist had perfected a strength and courage capable of facing this reality. He wrote, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)” God encouraged Joshua with these words, as he was about to succeed Moses: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)”  Again, the Psalmist wrote, “The Lord is my light and my salvation–whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life–of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1)”

So which is the best approach? My suggestion is that we follow all THREE lines of reasoning. Ask God to work a miracle, knowing full well that He doesn’t in every case. Pray that his purposes in this can be fulfilled — and perhaps even revealed. And beyond all this, ask God to give my mother courage to face the possibility of extreme pain in death. (Obstruction of one’s bowel is NOT a fun way to go.) And while we pray these prayers, consider the best approaches that modern medicine can afford, both to seek reasonable healing and also to seek release from human suffering. So, with my 2 brothers, we’re helping mother consider various invasive and difficult treatments (surgery, chemo, and radiation). Frankly, at this point, none of the three offer much promise, medically, for my mother, since her cancer is so far advanced and pervasive, not to mention the fact that her age is a complication. So we’re also encouraging her to team up with medical professionals in hospice care so that, if God does want to see her more quickly than we would have liked, at least we can help her find the most dignified and painless passing possible.

These challenges are not new. People face them every day. They only become ‘new’ for those of us who confront them personally for the first time. As my mom continues to remind us all, her local minister preached a very special message on the Sunday after her cancer was discovered. He pointed out that, “People fear dying because they’ve never done it before.” In her head, she gets that. However, in her heart, she probably wishes God would do the miracle. We all do. But at the end of the day, we are determined to seek faith, seek courage for my mother (and all of us, really), and seek his purpose in all.